


If anyone was good at communicating we wouldn't have angst

by the_ghostwriter96



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reconciliation, Slow Burn, crossdressing but not as a kink, don't sexualize it please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8567611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ghostwriter96/pseuds/the_ghostwriter96
Summary: Tsukishima isn't a fan of change, nobody is good at communicating and everything is a mess.  Still, Hinata shines through.In other words, Tsukishima is oblivious to his own emotions unless someone screams them in his face, and Hinata screams pretty much everything, all the time, figuratively and literally, which helps.(Fixed the formatting)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fixed the formatting :D

Hinata has nice legs. That was his first thought when his teammate walked into the gym, clad in a girl's gym uniform and with a face that matched his hair in color. Tsukishima wanted to smack himself for the thought alone, but outwardly he didn't react at all. He'd seen Hinata in shorts before, but never this short, never this tight, but he wasn't a pervert- he didn't let his eyes stray, and he didn't join in on the teasing that came from Tanaka and Nishinoya, or Kageyama's calling him names for wearing something like that. Yamaguchi looked at him a couple of times, like he was expectant, like it was strange for Tsukishima to be so silent about something like this. Something so ripe for taunts.

He wasn't sure why he didn't. Hinata had no choice essentially, he'd spilled his soup down his own gym clothes during lunch, and had been forced to change, but he didn't have a spare and neither did the school- except for this uniform, apparently. He listened, pretending that his attention was on his water bottle, as Hinata frantically explained how he'd run around asking any boy that might have a spare set in his size (something that Nishinoya confirmed, through breathless laughter) in-between classes with no luck.

After the initial surprise and laughter though, Tsukishima was oddly aware that Hinata seemed to quickly feel at-ease once again. Like it was nothing, no big deal at all. He didn't seem uncomfortable with the way his stomach flashed when he stretched or jumped, or how exposed his legs were in comparison to his usual shorts, or the fact that he was doing something typically strange. He didn't seem to care. Maybe he just didn't think about it, or maybe it wasn't something he felt he should be embarrassed by. Tsukishima couldn't think of any other person that would be comfortable wearing a girl's uniform except maybe Tanaka and Nishinoya as a joke. Hinata was like that, though; adaptable. Flexible to any situation.

It would be harder to find a situation that he wouldn't be able to fit himself into, in Tsukishima's opinion. The way that he was able to jump in, to throw his usual loud, obnoxious, energetic self into anything and still come out with on top or with a thousand new friends was enviable to most.

Tsukishima was not envious of anyone that had so many friends. One friend was enough for him, and he'd been fine without any at all before Yamaguchi. It was too difficult to find someone that put up with him long enough to understand that not every word out of his mouth, no matter how much it seemed that way, was something mean. To understand that he wasn't in a constant state of irritation, no matter how much it seemed that way. He did appreciate his freckled friend for that, but he imagined that he'd be just as fine without it. He had accepted that outcome a while ago, that Yamaguchi would likely stop hanging out with him, but that doubt had eventually faded over the years.

It was the previous year, when Tsukishima had developed a crush on him and he was sure that his friend had figured it out. He did his best to hide it, to beat the feelings down and convince himself that it was never going to happen, and somehow he'd made it through the year and gotten over Yamaguchi in the process.

Thinking on that now, he wondered briefly if that made him gay. Or bi. And now, the mental-comment on Hinata's legs... did that make him gay? The crush on Yamaguchi, he'd assumed was a fluke. This, he could write off as not being completely oblivious to fact. Hinata did have nice legs, especially for a boy. Soft, despite the muscle he must have to jump and run the way he does. He'd never really had a crush other than Yamaguchi, and this wasn't anything on any emotional level, so maybe none of it meant anything at all. Gay, bi, straight- it didn't matter, anyway, and he quickly dropped the topic from his thoughts and focused on practice.

…

Sawamura had a bigger house than Tsukishima had anticipated. He had gone- at Yamaguchi's insistence- to the sleepover with the expectation that it would be cramped and overcrowded. It wasn't, though; it wasn't a huge house by any means, but it fit all the members of the team (sans Asahi and Ennoshita, who couldn't make it) just comfortably enough that the blonde didn't feel overwhelmed. Not by the crowd, at least- Hinata's energy was overwhelming, but that was nothing new and he'd learned to (mostly) tolerate it by ignoring him completely or blocking him out with headphones.  
Or distracting himself with Yamaguchi, but as of late that was less and less of an option. He didn't know exactly when it began, but Kageyama and Yamaguchi seemed more and more in the presence of one-another rather than their usual respective friends. It was a gradual happening, enough that Tsukishima couldn't pinpoint exactly where in time Yamaguchi's snickering at Tsukishima's taunts had stopped being a given. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what he felt about it either, but watching as he chatted with Kageyama (His Majesty, Tsukishima thought bitterly) at the table, he knew it wasn't a good feeling and it was something that he needed to squash down. It wasn't any type of jealousy or envy, it was something more personal and imposing. Something sad that he refused to acknowledge in himself.

Hinata, too, seemed to have the problem of having no distraction. Without his King to constantly fight with, he went from person to person until they seemed too burnt-out and with his intensity. The rants and the raves about everything- volleyball, the sleepover, the Cherry Blossom festival the next day. Eventually, the redhead found his way to Tsukishima, who had been content (or pretending contentness) sitting alone on the loveseat until that point.

“Tsukishima!” Hinata began at a disadvantage, his whiny, sulky tone already taking a toll on his newest victim's patience. “Since when is Yamaguchi friends with Kageyama?” He lost more points by bringing up a sore topic.

Tsukishima kept his face blank and shrugged. “I'm not his keeper.” He was surprised that his feelings on the situation didn't come through his words. “I thought you didn't like The King, anyway.”  
“I don't!” He insisted quickly. Too quickly. “But it's weird, isn't it? They never even talked before and now they're always talking and they sit together at school,” Something Tsukishima was unfortunately aware of, since he often had to choose between sitting with his friend and dealing with the annoying duo by association, or eating alone and in his homeroom.

It was weird, but he wasn't about to voice his agreement with anything Hinata said. He noticed something else in his effort to think of a way to dismiss the conversation- a change of subject. He narrowed his eyes at Hinata. “Are those girl's pajamas?”

And they were, there was no doubt, although they were a neutral color (green) they definitely weren't boy's. The shirt was too short and the frog-pattern was too cutesy. Hinata's blush and stammering was answer before he was even able to get out an explanation. “They're hand-me-downs from my cousin, and I didn't have another pair so unless you want me to sleep in my underwear these are what I have to wear!” The words came out in a rush, a mess of explanation with an edge of plea to his tone. Unspoken, but clear; “Please don't make fun of me, please don't say anything mean.”

Tsukishima didn't make fun of him. He arched an eyebrow, like it was ridiculous that Hinata had suggested otherwise. “Nobody cares. If it bothers you, get new ones.” And he didn't mean that nobody cared about the explanation, he meant that nobody cared if he wore girl's pajamas, but after he said it he realized how it probably sounded- Hinata wasn't Yamaguchi, so it likely wouldn't be taken the way he'd meant it.

He didn't have more than a second to dwell on it, because Hinata beamed. “They're cool, anyway, look at the frogs!” He pulled his legs up on the couch to show off the pattern better.

Tsukishima looked, just to humor him, and then Sawamura called everyone to help set up the futons and the conversation was over.

…

In the dark, the only sounds were soft snores scattered over the room and the occasional mumble, thick with sleep and unintelligible. Time ticked on and his phone was plugged in, charging in the kitchen and his glasses were next to it so nobody stepped on them. He had nothing to do, nothing to distract himself with while the rest of his team slept. Yamaguchi was across from him, one source of snoring, and Kageyama beside him. Hinata was across from Kageyama, therefor beside Tsukishima. Surprisingly, the redhead wasn't snoring at all, and Tsukishima turned onto his side absently to face him- a mistake, he realized, when amber eyes seemed to glow, piercing straight through the darkness to meet his eyes. A beat of silence as both boys were startled by the other, and Hinata was the first to speak.

When he did, his tone was soft and hushed. Quiet and calm in a way that Tsukishima couldn't remember having heard before. It was tinged with sleep, but that was the only sign of the late hour. “Why are you awake?” The way that his eyes shone, you'd never have guessed that he'd just been asleep.

“I don't sleep much,” He offered, more of an answer than he was used to giving Hinata. Maybe it was because it was so late, or maybe it was because the redhead was peaceful for once.

“Oh. Why?”

Another beat of silence between them. “I can't.”

“Oh.” And then Hinata was the silent one. He looked thoughtful for a minute, and if Tsukishima didn't know him the intensity of his scowl would be off-putting. Instead, it was the norm, because intense was Hinata's default. “Do you want me to stay awake with you?”

“No.” He would have rolled his eyes if he wasn't straining so hard to actually see the boy in front of him. “If you ever want to grow, you need to get enough sleep.”

Hinata pouted. “Oi! Don't be-”

“Quiet, everyone's asleep.”

A beat of silence, and then another, and then:

“Goodnight, Tsukishima.”

“Goodnight.”

…

The red glow of the setting sun seemed to permeate over the pink-toned festival. Cherry blossoms illuminated by lanterns, the sweet and savory scents of treats and meat and noodles and a lull of festival-goers laughing, talking, enjoying themselves- it was a relaxing setting, Tsukishima felt at ease and he felt kind of hungry as well. Sawamura and Sugawara had been insistent on everyone packing a bento, but Hinata had all but dragged Kageyama along early and Yamaguchi had followed, which pulled the blonde in tow as well. He had a bit of money, he could buy a snack if he wanted.

It was a surprisingly casual voice in his head that suggested he buy something for Hinata as well. The smaller boy was walking along side him, gushing over the flowers and the stands, as if he'd never seen them before. Somehow, Tsukishima knew he would be amazed the same whether it was the first or the hundredth time there, because that's how he was. It was be exhausting to deal with. Tiring and irritating, but he couldn't muster irritation in such a calm and peaceful environment. He couldn't force out a demand that Hinata to shut up for five minutes because his eyes were so bright and his smile was so genuine. When had Tsukishima become so soft, so tolerant of the never-ending excitement that Hinata forced on everyone around him?

He hardly noticed when they met up with the rest of the team, and when he realized he'd been focused on what Hinata had been saying (although it slipped him mind just as quickly as the next words were spoken) he felt the strangest urge to turn around and go home. To leave his teammate behind. He didn't- instead, he followed his team with his hands in his pockets as they went about to look at the stands, the trees, absent-minded as time passed. He hardly noticed, too, when they stopped and gathered around more stands- a couple of them that sold sparklers, paper fans, hair-ornaments. He paused to look at some goldfish, resisting the urge to snap at the vendor because she probably didn't care that they wouldn't be taken care of- bought and swung around as kids and even adults walked with them, taken home and likely left to starve. Decorations for the evening and nothing more.

His attention was pulled from them, and from the woman that was clearly attempting to sell him one, to Hinata instead; his gaze had become once again intense, fully focused on whatever it was the stand over was selling- hair-ornaments, Tsukishima realized as he stepped closer, brushing off the vendor. Specifically, one with a cluster of pink flowers and fake jewels hanging from them- definitely not something that he would expect Hinata to be interested in, but the pajamas from the night before came to mind and he decided against teasing, just in case. In case of what, he wasn't sure, but just in case.

He had a sister, Tsukishima was sure, but the chance that he was looking to buy it for her was out the window when he caught Tsukishima's gaze and his cheeks, nose and ears erupted into flames that envied the sun. He seemed to hesitate, to scramble for something to say, an excuse to make and if it were for his sister it wouldn't be a big deal. It wouldn't be embarrassing. Maybe it was for a girl that he liked, but Tsukishima doubted that the boy had the capacity to like volleyball and a person at the same time.

“You can't wear pink with red hair.” He said, monotone. Something he could play off as a joke, but something that didn't have to be a joke.

Hinata shot him a glare, narrowing his eyes and he stammered before he got out, “What would you know about it anyway?” and that meant it wasn't a joke, because he didn't deny it, he didn't make an excuse. Because he spoke without thinking, or because he trusted Tsukishima not to laugh at him, was unclear.

“Blue would look better. Dark blue.” And he followed Hinata's eyes flick to a specific one, one with deep, blue flowers with small, fake diamonds centered in each that curved around and arched like a crescent-moon.

After that, Hinata returned the pink ornament to the table and after that, he was oddly quiet.

…

The sun had long set, and the rest of the team had long gone home. The festival hadn't cleared out by any means, but it felt strange to have come so early and stayed so late. It wasn't often that Tsukishima went anywhere early, and it was even less that he stayed longer than what was absolutely necessary. Yamaguchi hadn't been ignoring him completely, but his attention was on The King and eventually, everything clicked into place because their fingers laced together. Tsukishima understood then.

Neither of them looked at one another- Kageyama facing one way, Yamaguchi facing the other, and blush tinted both of their ears so that he didn't even need to see their faces to know what was going on. He understood, and he didn't know how Hinata would react, and he honestly didn't feel like drawing attention to them (which Hinata would likely do with his always-too-loud voice) and he didn't feel like walking behind them, exposed to their (gross) PDA either. So he bumped Hinata's shoulder with his elbow, slowing to a stop when he was sure the other boy would follow his lead. They still hadn't eaten, he was hungry and there were candied fruits right there.

“Huh?” Hinata sounded confused, like he'd been lost, mentally elsewhere and with how silent he'd been for the last hour or two that was probably the case.

“Apple or strawberry?” He asked, doing his best to sound bored because he knew that Hinata was going to make a big deal about this.

“Apple or- what? What are you talking about?”

He pushed his glasses up his nose, trying not to look as annoyed as he felt. “I'm getting a candied strawberry. What do you want?”

And, of course Hinata's eyes lit up and his mouth dropped open like he'd seen the goddamn messiah or something. “Wait, are you buying me one? If you buy me one I want an apple, but are you really?”

“Why else would I have asked?” He brushed by him, moving to the vendor and digging his wallet from his back-pocket. Hinata had tagged along just behind, and Tsukishima glanced around to find it had worked; the newly-official gays had moved along without realizing their friends had fallen behind, and any kind of confrontation was put off for the night. He didn't know if Hinata would make it a scene, or if he already knew. Waiting around to find out wasn't on top of Tsukishima's to-do list.

“You're so cool, Tsukishima!” Hinata gushed over him and it made him vaguely uncomfortable, the way that it usually did to be on the receiving end of so much sincere and genuine praise, from someone that meant it so much. “And nice! Why are you being nice out of nowhere?”

“I'm not.” He just handed over the money, tucked his wallet away and picked up the candied fruits. He all but shoved Hinata's into his hand. “I was getting one anyway.”

“Yeah, but you paid for mine.” Hinata said in that hushed, uncharacteristically soft tone that he'd spoken in the night before and Tsukishima scowled, but said nothing.

He wasn't being nice, he was being polite- there was a difference, and anyway, he'd had the ulterior motive of distraction and it worked. There was nothing nice about it, and it didn't take Hinata long to realize their friends had vanished and he stopped walking, looking around like a child lost in a store. Tsukishima stopped, too, taking a bite out of his strawberry; he would attend every festival if he knew for certain every one would have these.

Hinata frowned thoughtfully, tilting his chin up to look at Tsukishima. “Where'd they go?”

“Who knows? They're not little kids, they'll be fine.”

“I know that! But-” He stopped, then, using his free hand to pull his cellphone from his pocket. Apparently dissatisfied with the lack of texts, he put it away and shifted, squirming and antsy. “Do you think that maybe... they walked away on purpose?” His lower lip had poked out just slightly, his brows pulled together in the beginnings of a pout.

“We're the ones that stopped, remember?” He waved his strawberry in front of Hinata's face for emphasis.

“Yeah.” Hinata replied, but he didn't seem to cheer up any as they began walking on again.

It hadn't been an out-of-the-blue question, though. Kageyama was spending less and less time with Hinata- the two walking into school together, racing to the gym, arguing loudly throughout the day; constant, assured things. Where one was, the other was too... but not anymore, not lately. He could understand why Hinata was suddenly confused and maybe even upset about it, and though he wouldn't admit to it he could relate. Instead of admitting to it, his gaze fell on the stand that Hinata had been looking at earlier, after the team had arrived. They'd walked in a full circle over and over, and each time his interest was drawn back to the stand. Hinata, when Tsukishima had glanced at him, seemed to purposely look in a the opposite direction every time. They weren't even friends. Hinata and his emotions weren't Tsukishima's responsibility by any stretch of the imagination, and yet the idea to cheer him up seemed to be a natural one anyway.

That was something he'd do for Yamaguchi, or his little cousin, but not Hinata. And it seemed kind of... personal, anyway. It could easily be a mistake, he could easily be overstepping a boundary and he did so pride himself on having more social grace than Kageyama did- but then again, Kageyama probably wouldn't do this, either. He felt unstable in a way, like his rationality and decision-making skills had been completely screwed up, like someone else was guiding his hand.

He reached out, clutching Hinata's arm (maybe a little too roughly, because the shorter boy squawked his outrage) before dragging him toward the stand. “Oi,” Hinata had apparently been mid-bite, because there was a sticky, red smear across his cheek from the candy-coating. He was distracted, rubbing at it with his palm as he mumbled his angry protests to being manhandled and Tsukishima just snorted and turned toward the vendor.

The hair-ornament that Hinata had looked at- the blue one, with the crescent shape- was still there. There were two or three of them left, actually, and before his teammate could figure out what he was doing and protest (or make a big deal about it the way he'd done with the candied fruit) Tsukishima pulled out his wallet, and made the trade of cash for merchandise. When Hinata seemed to catch up with what was happening, he fell silent.

Amber eyes wide, intense as always and ever-focused on Tsukishima in a way that made him uncomfortable. He regretted his decision, regretted giving into his whim but when he extended the ornament to him, Hinata cautiously took it in his fingertips- like it might break, or like he was afraid of it being snatched away. Like it was some kind of joke, and sure, Tsukishima was usually mean. He didn't even know what exactly was different about this night. He wasn't sure why he was actually making an effort to cheer Hinata up, but it seemed to work but as soon as he had the ornament in his possession and as soon as he seemed sure that there were no jokes or taunts to follow, he absolutely beamed.

“See? You are being nice today!” Tsukishima walked away as if in protest to the accusation, taking a bite out of his strawberry as Hinata tagged along behind him, back to his bouncy and cheerful self.

After a while of mostly-comfortable normalcy (in which Tsukishima tried to seem more annoyed with the redhead than he actually was), and as they spotted their friends ahead, Hinata poked Tsukishima's side and seemed unfazed by the glare he received in return. “I won't tell anyone you're actually nice, don't worry.” And though his tone was teasing, Tsukishima was relieved at the promise of silence. It was all weird enough without anyone gawking at him.

…

Hinata was intense, and he was insistent. There was really no arguing with his ways of thinking when he decided something- and he would insist that he was correct, even when nobody was arguing. The Tiny Giant was one of the topics that he went on about, and Tsukishima supposed it could be called gushing but it seemed more like all he wanted was for someone to agree with him... and then continuously agree with him for the next hour about how amazing the subject was. His own personal idol, Hinata would go on about him for as long as he possibly could any time the subject came up.

This was one of those days in particular. Somewhere, though Tsukishima didn't recall when, he had been mentioned and Hinata had spent the last half of practice talking about him. Comparing his own jumps to his, talking about his stats- it followed them into the locker room and the showers after practice, and as usual, he was speaking loudly. It was grating on Tsukishima's migraine and he made to change quickly and walk home on his own- he wasn't in the mood to wait and see if Yamaguchi would walk with him today, he wasn't in the mood to wait around for Hinata so he could keep running his mouth about someone that honestly, wasn't that interesting (there were successful short people all the time, right?) and he wasn't in the mood to wait around and practice extra with the obnoxious duo in the park as he was constantly invited to do as of late.

He wanted to go home, study and go to bed. He was pulling his uniform jacket over his shirt when something Nishinoya said caught his ears;

“It's like you have a crush on him, Shouyou! You might as well with the way you talk about him.” He teased, and there was a sound like he'd slapped someone's bare skin. Sure enough, when Tsukishima brought his glasses to his eyes, there was a red handprint forming on Hinata's back.

It was as though he didn't feel it at all, though, because he was suddenly stammering and tripping over his words, eyes wide with panic. It might have been a joke, that he had a crush on his little idol, but Tsukishima had assumed it to be a given whether Shrimpy was gay, bi or straight- there was no way someone could be so obsessed with a person and not, on some level, have that obsession cross the boundary of platonic, right? But Hinata seemed shocked that Nishinoya had come to that conclusion.  
Tanaka laughed, then, coming up next to the libero with his arms crossed and a goofy grin on his face- typical. “Ohoho- what's this? Does my little first-year have a crush?”

Surprisingly enough, Kageyama came to Hinata's defense once it became apparent that he wouldn't be able to form a coherent-enough sentence to defend himself. “So what if he does? That's not something to laugh about.” He said it so casually, obviously not having realized that he was pretty much outing his friend.

The redhead's face became inflamed and he curled his fists into Kageyama's shirt, shaking him for emphasis as he yelled, “Don't just say stuff about me to people!”

“I was defending you, jackass!”

“You just said I'm gay, how is that defending?” He demanded, voice rising higher and then Yamaguchi was watching from Tsukishima's side.

The shrill argument sent pangs through Tsukishima's temples, and although it was amusing on some level to see both boys so flustered it seemed that nobody else had expected this outcome.

“Nobody cares either way.” Tsukishima finally snapped, cutting them both off. “So shut up about it.” Then, taking care to appear as nonchalant as possible despite the eyes on him (Hinata and Yamaguchi especially, but Kageyama and Tanaka and Nishinoya too) he threw his towel over his shoulder, picked up his bag and went off to the exit. Yamaguchi was by his side, but Kageyama and Hinata hadn't followed.

He didn't ask why. If Yamaguchi wanted to address his whatever-it-was with The King, he could do it himself. Yamaguchi didn't question what Tsukishima had said, either; he knew that support (no matter how laced with irritation) was rare from the blonde, and that when he'd said “Nobody cares”, it meant “Nobody cares, don't worry about it” rather than “Nobody gives a shit” though it wasn't likely anyone else was aware of that.

Not that it really mattered either way, whether anyone understood- it was what it was, and he needed to get used to the way things had been before he and Yamaguchi were friends. Before there was anyone that understood him. They didn't talk at all on the way home, though the freckled boy seemed antsy as they parted ways. Like he had something to say, but couldn't get the words out, and Tsukishima wouldn't admit it but he was too afraid to hear what it was; so he didn't ask.

…

“Are you sure it's okay?” Yamaguchi asked, fidgeting his thumbs as he looked up at his friend who kept a blank expression.

“I already said it was.” Was all Tsukishima replied; wasn't it weird for friends to be so worried about something like this? If he wanted to go on alone with Kageyama after practice, he could do it for the rest of the week for all Tsukishima cared. It wasn't a big deal, they obviously had something to talk about from the way The King was lingering by the door, red in the face and looking everywhere but at his teammates.

“I'll email you later,”

Tsukishima didn't reply at all this time. He wasn't angry exactly, but he was in a poor mood and he didn't feel like thinking about this. About how little time he and Yamaguchi spent together anymore and how annoying it was, and how it was even more annoying that he actually cared at all. When the freckled boy walked away, he was relieved and finished changing on his own. He had seriously half-assed at practice and he knew that their captain was already annoyed with him, so maybe that was why he didn't take a head start and leave before Hinata started badgering him about extra practices. Or maybe he was just feeling lonely (not that he'd ever admit it, to himself or anyone else).

“Tsukishima, where's Kageyama?” He asked, instead of asking about practicing. Amber eyes swept the room, arms crossed over his chest like he was suddenly lost without his King to tell him what to do and where to go.

Why do you assume I'd know? He thought, but didn't say. Instead, he closed his locker and adjusted his glasses. “He left with Yamaguchi.”

“What?” Hinata's brows pulled together and his arms fell to his sides, like he'd been defeated. “But we practice at the park,” And maybe it was his pout, or maybe it was because Tsukishima had already decided to stick around with the redhead but he reached out and took the volleyball from Hinata in one swift grab, holding it shoulder-length so that the smaller boy couldn't reach.

“I'll practice with you if you can get the ball.” He sneered, and when Hinata immediately jumped (with a cry of determination that echoed through the room, drawing attention from the remains of the team) he raised it higher and turned on his heel. “Try again, Shrimpy.” And he moved to the door, like he was leaving Hinata behind for failing but it was bait and Hinata was probably the only one that didn't see through it; he ran after the taller boy, following Tsukishima out of the gym.

Honestly, Kageyama and Hinata had to be the most clueless people that Tsukishima had ever met. Kageyama had absolutely no tact, no social skills whatsoever; he hadn't even let Hinata know that their plans had changed. Hinata might deny their friendship, but it was on a surface level and he had surely realized by now that they were, indeed, best friends. Kageyama likely hadn't realized that at all. How he'd realized his feelings for Yamaguchi was a mystery, honestly. Hinata was clueless in a different way.

He was clueless and naive in that it was easy to get what you wanted from him. Mostly, all it took was a poke at his height and he would jump (literally and figuratively) to prove you wrong. It was almost scary how trusting and accidentally-compliant he could be. Someone so small should be less trusting, right? But at the same time, nobody seemed to bully him aside from Tanaka occasionally, and even that was in good spirits. It was unlikely that Hinata could make a real enemy.

As they reached the park, Tsukishima let Hinata grab the ball and the resounding “Ha!” almost made him regret it. “I knew I could get it! See?! Being tall doesn't mean anything!”

Tsukishima wondered briefly if he was a bully to Hinata. If this extended beyond teasing and jest, but Hinata was beaming the way he did sometimes that made Tsukishima falter- bright, genuine, happy and at the blonde that had essentially spent the last ten minutes being a jerk for no reason. Why did he seem so bubbly to spend time with him, when it just meant an extended period of short-jokes?

“Oi, Tsukishima! Say something, your face is scary.” Hinata was close, too close suddenly, poking Tsukishima's side as if to check that he was still alive.

“It isn't.” He scowled, knocking the ball out of Hinata's hands. “Come on, you're really bad at receives.”

And despite Hinata's indignant squawk, they practiced- or, more like Hinata practiced and Tsukishima served to him- for a good half-hour under the streetlights. Tsukishima was probably too proud of his ability to rile people up, especially people like the obnoxious boy in his company, though he did know that sometimes he took it too far. This particular night was probably one of those times, because at almost exactly the half-hour mark, Hinata had ignored the ball completely to glare at the taller boy with his hands in fists by his sides.

Tsukishima didn't let up; “That one was easy. Are you even trying?”

“Stop being a jerk!” He growled through his teeth.

Tsukishima was also fairly proud of his ability to read a room, and he knew that he had a choice to make. If he kept up his teasing (bullying) Hinata would leave for sure, they'd both go home or maybe Shrimpy would practice on his own but Tsukishima probably wouldn't be welcome to practice with him (albeit unofficially) anymore. Definitely an idea that shouldn't bother him too much, but it did nevertheless. If he did stop, he knew it would be read into somehow. That it would be like at the festival, when he'd bought Hinata a treat and the hair-ornament. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it was, because Tsukishima was an asshole. To not be an asshole was a feat.

He kept his face blank, shrugging like he didn't care at all, and it took every bit of effort that he had not to throw in a Shorty when he replied. “Fine. Go get the ball.”

And to his relief, Hinata didn't say anything about it. He just relaxed, and ran off to find the ball.

…

The next night, they were at the park again, just the two of them because Yamaguchi and Kageyama had “somewhere to be”. The initial idea was to practice, but for the life of him Tsukishima couldn't explain to himself or to anyone that might ask why they ended up sitting beneath a tree instead. With his back against the trunk, towel and bag to the side, and with an oddly quiet Hinata sitting too close. Just a little, just too-close enough that their arms were touching- and then closer still when he kicked out his short legs, resting one over Tsukishima's leg closest to him and linking it as though he might try to pull away. For the life of him, Tsukishima couldn't explain why he didn't.

“Hey, can I call you Tsukki?”

“I'd rather you didn't.”

“Will you murder me if I do?”

A sigh. “No.”

“Tsukki!” Hinata's grin was present in his voice. He sounded triumphant, falling more against Tsukishima.

It was an odd comfort, an odd, easy feeling that shouldn't even be if he really thought about it. The tiny ball of obnoxious was exactly that, obnoxious, so why did things feel so peaceful? The moon peeked through the leaves of the tree and he looked up to it and blinked at the brightness. Even at it's brightest, though, he could look into it. It didn't offer the same warmth or brightness as the sun. Instead, it was cold and felt solitary despite the stars that surrounded it.

“Hey, Tsukki?”

He refused to look down. “What?” He knew Hinata's face well enough to picture the expression anyway. Everyone did; he was in everyone's face all the time. How could they not have memorized every single detail? Surely, Tsukishima wasn't the only one that had.

“Did you... um, mean what you said? You know, the other day?” And then he was quiet again, speaking in that hushed tone that Tsukishima never anticipated, that seemed to throw him off. “About- me.”

“What?” This time, the blonde did look down, only to find Hinata avoided his gaze. It wasn't light enough to made out his expression, though, so he just turned away again.  
Hinata picked at the hem of his shirt. “You know. You said, Nobody cares either way.”

“You don't need to do my voice to say it.” He glared off into the distance, because that's not what he sounded like anyway, right? So irritated and grouchy.

“Did you mean it though?”

So, he had understood what Tsukishima meant. Since when did Hinata know him so well, anyway? “I wouldn't have said it otherwise.”

There was a long silence, drawn-out until Tsukishima felt uneasy. Was that the wrong answer? Did he misunderstand something? He was about to stand up, to brush himself off and gather his things and go home, but Hinata finally said something and it put him at ease once again.

“Thanks, Tsukki. You really are nicer lately.”

“If you keep saying that I won't be anymore.”

Hinata giggled.

…

When he walked into the room Karasuno was assigned, he was unsurprised to find Kuroo and a couple of other members from other teams. He finished drying his hair and went to tuck his towel into his bag. It was less common to not find other team members wherever Hinata was. He seemed to have a love-hate relationship with everyone, and though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, Tsukishima truly understood what that was like nowadays. They were on the floor to one side of the room, and Yamaguchi and Kageyama were together with Nishinoya and Asahi nearby. The decision was easy; Hinata was annoying, but Kageyama was more annoying and arguing with him meant upsetting Yamaguchi. So, he crossed the room and sat on the floor beside Hinata, adjusting his glasses to avoid facing Kuroo who had sent him a smirk.

“Ohoho? Did you come to see me, Four-Eyes?”

“Why bother? I could see your bedhead just fine from across the room.”

The short friend of Kuroo- Kenma, Tsukishima vaguely recalled Hinata screeching at him during the practice match- snorted, but didn't raise his eyes from his gameboy.

Getting a rise out of Kuroo was much more difficult than it should be, and he just grinned a lazy grin and cocked his head. “So you're here to see the shrimp, then?”

“Oi!” Hinata growled, but it lacked bite and Tsukishima glanced at him- he looked unhappy, but not at being teased. Genuinely unhappy, like something was eating at him with his brows pulled together and the corners of his mouth pulled down, shoulders slack in a way that contradicted his usual tension that came from his constant state of about-to-explode. “Don't call me that.”

“Maybe if you were taller you would've actually been competition.”

Hinata didn't retort, didn't assure him that he would definitely do better in the next match, and for once Tsukishima understood something about Hinata without the redhead literally screaming it in his face. He'd been having trouble blocking, and it was weighing on him, and Kuroo was taking this too far. There was a difference between getting someone agitated and kicking them while they're down- and maybe Tsukishima wasn't such a bully, after all.

“He still scored more points than you did.” Tsukishima sneered, and Hinata gaped at him and he was all-too-aware that Yamaguchi and Kageyama had suddenly fallen silent.

“Did you just defend my honor?” Hinata breathed and Tsukishima cringed at his expression- it was the way he'd looked at him when he'd gotten new sports-glasses, gushing about how cool they were. It was ridiculous and embarrassing.

“You're taking it too far,” He muttered, turning his eyes elsewhere so he wouldn't have to see that expression anymore.

Kuroo just smirked at him, a smirk that said he knew something that Tsukishima didn't want him to and it was infuriating because what? He had said it to piss him off, not to cheer up Hinata. To piss Kuroo off, and that was all.

That was definitely all.

…

“Hinata.” Tsukishima's voice cut through his conversation (yelling match) with Kageyama. “Come with me.”

“Huh? Why?” Hinata demanded, but he was scrambling to his feet even so.

“Shut up and follow me before I change my mind.” He turned, walking away and ignoring the rest of Hinata's questions. Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi had invited him to practice, so he might as well bring Shrimpy along; he needed the practice blocking after today, anyway.

…

Tsukishima, in his lack of sleeping-ability, busied himself by gauging how long it took his teammates to fall asleep. Hinata and Kageyama were first, taking maybe five minutes to start drooling and snoring. Yamaguchi and Tanaka weren't long after. He couldn't see anyone else while laying down, but he was pretty sure it was Sawamura snoring in a pretty dad-esque way across the room (meaning very loudly). In his general boredom, he'd also noticed the way that everyone seemed to flock together; Sugawara and Sawamura, Asahi for some reason with Nishinoya, and Tanaka by association. How such a gentle giant could handle Nishinoya's aggression was lost on Tsukishima. There were patterns in everyone. Friendships. He had recently come to the conclusion that he had not escaped that, but that his dynamic had changed from Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, to Tsukishima and Hinata while Kageyama and Yamaguchi had become a pair.

It must have happened gradually, because at this point nobody really paid attention the way they would if it was weird behavior. Or, maybe it had just been that way for long enough that it didn't matter. Maybe it happened long before Tsukishima realized it.

The moon shone through the window, casting a strip of light over the first year's heads and when Tsukishima turned on his side, he could see Hinata's face even without his glasses, the smaller boy's face cast in the blue glow of night. The blue was complimentary to the red of Hinata's hair. His expression when he slept was peaceful, relaxed. It was such a contrast to see him this way when any other time, he seemed on the verge of exploding with excess energy. There were some times like this, too few, where he was this peaceful. The night at their captain's house, when they were at the festival, the night under the tree- it seemed that come night, Hinata's energy burned out in an instant and so did his obnoxious-levels.

This situation felt all-too-familiar; Hinata's eyes fluttered open, and after a moment he managed a sleepy smile. It went unreturned; Tsukishima hardly smiled and he was too tired and too bored to bother, but Hinata didn't seem bothered. He rarely seemed bothered by Tsukishima lately, oddly enough.

“ 'still awake,” He mumbled, which probably translated into, “You're still awake?”

“Always am.” Tsukishima deadpanned.

“Yeah.” Why were his eyes so bright, anyway? Cutting through the darkness with their sharp, amber glow. It combated the blue of the moon, shining even brighter. “Is it lonely?” And why the hell did he have to say stuff like that? What made him think they were even close enough that personal questions were okay? What a weird kid.

“Stop asking weird questions.” Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. He wasn't used to whispering to anyone. Wasn't used to talking to anyone at night, or to this side of Hinata- he almost seemed delicate instead of rambunctious. “Go back to sleep.”

“No, you'll stare at me.”

“I'm not staring.”

“Yes you were,”

“Nope.”

Hinata huffed, his breath ghosting across Tsukishima's face and it should be gross, he should be grossed out, but he wasn't and he put in the effort to not flinch away. The smile tugging at Hinata's lips, subtle and covert, said that he wasn't really all that invested in the argument. There was a beat of silence, a stillness, only stirred by light snoring scattered about the room and then Hinata scooted across his futon. Half on his own, half on Tsukishima's, his smile turned goofy.

“Hey Tsukki?” He breathed, and suddenly the blonde was glad for the darkness because he could feel a heat rising on his cheeks.

He hummed his question.

Hinata's eyelids were drooping, and his words lazy but somehow his gaze still felt piercing to Tsukishima; like he was looking through his apathetic expression and bored tone. “We're friends, right?” And god, who even asks questions like that? How could anyone be so blunt and honest without a thought?

“Obviously.”

Hinata beamed even in his half-asleep state. “Good.”

…

It didn't matter to anyone that they'd lost every practice match. They took the losses and made notes on what to improve on. Hinata was definitely the team's motivator, his determination and hopefulness contagious. If anyone felt down, his shrill rants on how they'll definitely win the next one was enough to pull them back up and into the right, motivated mindset. Even Tsukishima himself played better under Hinata's influence, that intense, encouraging glare making the blonde feel scrutinized to the point of being uncomfortable half-assing during a match- even a practice one, which shouldn't matter that much anyway. But still, he actually did his best and by the time they lost the last one he was sore and tired.

After everyone had showered and dressed, Sawamura had announced that they'd been given permission to host a movie in the teacher's lounge, and every team had packed into the room. Yamaguchi sat down beside Tsukishima, pulling Kageyama down by the arm and they leaned against the back of the couch. Hinata had come in last, talking off his pudding-haired friend's ear despite the obviously one-sided conversation. The boy- Kozume- appeared to be always on his phone or invested in a hand-held game console, but somehow Hinata didn't notice his total disinterest. Or maybe there was no disinterest; he was observant enough during game despite seeming withdrawn, so maybe that was the case here, too. 

After all, Tsukishima was pretty good at pretending to not listen to Hinata's constant rambling.  
When Hinata caught Tsukishima's eyes, he flashed him a smile and then took his leave from the gamer, who wandered over to Kuroo without a word. When the redhead dropped his butt to the floor beside Tsukishima, he was surprised; Kageyama was there, on the other side, and since when was Tsukishima his priority when there were other options? Had the dynamic shifted so much? There was a feeling like relief- he wasn't by himself in a group of people, even though Yamaguchi's attention was elsewhere.  
“Captain said it was a scary movie! Do you like scary movies?” He asked in a whisper as Sugawara turned out the lights.

“No. They're boring.” He looked down his nose at his smaller friend, and then, because it was probably polite to ask (and even though Hinata would've told him whether he'd asked or not), he added, 

“Do you?”

“Yes- well, no. Kind of! They're so scary that I'm always too scared to sleep after I watch them.” He laughed, quietly and sheepish. “But they're better than the movies my sister watches.”

“Oh,”

“What movies do you like?”

“Documentaries.” The animated ones about prehistoric earth, mostly, even if they were in English and he couldn't really understand what was said.

“That's boring. You probably like them because you're so smart, but they're still boring.”

“They're not.”

“Are too!”

“Oi!” Tanaka's voice cut through from the couch behind them. “Quiet while we're watching a movie.”  
Tsukishima didn't react, but the both of them were silent for the rest of the movie. Even when Hinata fell asleep, half-flopped over onto Tsukishima and probably drooling down his shirt, he didn't say a word and he didn't wake him up. Even as the credits rolled, he pretended not to notice Yamaguchi's disbelieving stare or Kageyama's scoff, and he let Hinata stir from the noise of everyone else rising to leave instead of waking him abruptly. He really was too nice, lately. Too considerate. It was hard to stay cool and collected when people were constantly gawking at him for being a decent person.

…

The hallways were dark and abandoned, and Tsukishima was glad for it. Nobody was there to ask him why he was wandering off in the middle of the night, and nobody was there to stop him from going outside and to the hill that they'd been made to run, loss after loss. Nobody was there to obligate him to take out his headphones or pause his music. The solitude didn't help his mind from delving down into dark places, but he hadn't gone out there to feel better. Just to get away from the source of his turmoil-

Yamaguchi.

All day, all day he had been talking to The King. Not purposely ignoring Tsukishima, and it wasn't like he himself had gone an extra mile to change that anyway, but it was obvious that things weren't the same and that they likely wouldn't be again. Yamaguchi had still not brought up Kageyama, or the matter of their relationship. He'd kept it to himself. Did he not trust Tsukishima enough to bring it up? Had Tsukishima been that much of an asshole that he thought it was a topic to be avoided? Or did he just not want to talk to Tsukishima at all?

He wasn't jealous of Kageyama, or envious. He didn't want anything to change, he didn't want Yamaguchi to stop hanging out with him because he seemed happy. Giddy, even, when the two were together. It just... wasn't a good feeling to suddenly stop spending time with his childhood friend. To see their study sessions grow further and further apart, to not have anyone laughing at his snark anymore. For someone that was a constant to just not be anymore. He felt replaced, abandoned, and lonely and he couldn't really pretend that wasn't the case forever. The longer he ignored it, the worse it felt.

He laid back on the grassy hill, eyes locked on the moon and arms stretched on either side. It was frustrating to care so much. It was so easy to just put on an air of apathy and keep it there, and only Yamaguchi had ever really seen through it to comfort him or reassure him when he was down, and now that wasn't the case and he wasn't about to go around seeking reassurance from people that probably didn't like him anyway. People he'd never given any reason to like him.. The problems were his own, and he wasn't really close enough to anyone else for them to know what to say anyway. The best that he could hope for was a pat on the back (or a slap on the back, depending on who he talked to) and a “It'll be okay.” that was essentially meaningless because he already knew that this wouldn't last forever. That this would fade, and he would move on whether he and Yamaguchi stayed friends or not. That didn't help him now, though.

His vision blurred behind his glasses and he scowled, taking them off to wipe the lenses but a hot streak running from the corner of his eyes to his hair let him know that wasn't the problem. He dropped them in the grass and draped an arm over his wet eyes, feeling foolish and childish. This was so- ridiculous. People moved on all the time, right? Nobody stayed friends forever, and especially not with him. He wasn't nice, he wasn't friend-material, so he should've expected the shift in their relationship. He should've been prepared for it but he wasn't and it was infuriating that he wasn't.

He just laid there for a while, focusing on keeping his breathing even and clearing his mind. He was there for who-knows how long, wishing that just for a while the earth would swallow him up so that it would only be him and his music and nothing and no one else. He changed his mind when a hand, hesitant and light, touched his arm and he moved it away to see amber. His vision was unclear without his glasses, but those eyes were unmistakable and he was, surprisingly, not displeased or bothered to see them. Maybe he was even relieved. He was definitely relieved that his tears had stopped and any evidence of them had dried already.

He pulled his headphones from his ears, placing them in the grass and bringing his glasses back to his eyes instead. Hinata was kneeling above him on the hill, knees on either side of his head and palms in the grass, fingers splayed by his shoulders.

His smile was hesitant and uneasy. Anxious, like he wasn't sure that he was welcome there. “Hey,”

“Hey.” Tsukishima didn't like how rough his voice sounded. Raw, sort of, and hoped it wasn't as telling as he thought it was of his emotional outburst (thought that was an exaggeration).

“Why're you out here? 'Cause you can't sleep?”

He wanted to be honest, but he wasn't. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” A pause, more hesitance. “Can I lay with you?”

“I don't care.”

Hinata relaxed noticeably, his smile turning genuine as he scooted and shuffled until he was on his back beside Tsukishima, head resting on the blonde's arm and it was weird, because this wasn't even something that he had ever done with Yamaguchi. They were friends, close friends he would've said, but physical affection (platonic or otherwise) had never been the norm. Even the occasional hug was awkward, but this wasn't awkward and he didn't feel the need (or the want) to move away. Together, they stared at the sky. At the moon and the stars, and it was Hinata that grew restless and squirmy with the silence and broke it. Tsukishima didn't mind, even if it made his chest tighten and his breath catch.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah?” He said it like it was a weird question, but he did wonder what he was doing that made it seem like he wasn't. He had thought he was playing it cool enough.

Hinata turned on his side, cheek squished against Tsukishima's bicep. “You're sad.”

“Nope.”

“If I can guess why, will you tell me?”

“I'm not sad.” Tsukishima insisted halfheartedly, turning his head to face the boy that had taken comfort in trapping his arm.

“Is it 'cause of Yamaguchi and Kageyama?” He asked, and apparently, Tsukishima's silence was enough of an answer. His eyebrows pulled in, eyes darkening and lips pulling down in a frown. Not a sulk, or a pout, and the taller boy didn't know how to handle that. “Me too. I'm fine that they're- you know.” Apparently, he wasn't as oblivious as Tsukishima had thought if he realized they were more than friends at this point. Had the rest of the team noticed, too? “But it's weird now. It's different.”

Tsukishima didn't know how to comfort people. It wasn't his strong suit, but Hinata probably knew that. He turned his gaze back to the sky, and “Yeah.” was all that he said, but it must have been enough because the silence that fell between them wasn't uncomfortable.

Mutual sadness, Tsukishima thought to himself, and he wanted to laugh at how absurd the situation was. Compared to the past, compared to the way that things had been at the start of the year. If someone had described this scene to him then, he would've laughed at them... and yet here they were, and he had never felt so comfortable.

“Tsukki,”

He hummed.

“Do you like the sky?”

“What kind of question is that?” He would've laughed if Hinata hadn't sounded so solemn when he asked.

“I do. I like it at night- the stars are pretty. The moon is pretty. What do you think?” Hinata wasn't tactful, right? This was just- legitimate talk about the sky. Tsukishima hoped so, otherwise his reply would carry a much deeper meaning than he felt he could handle.

“I like day better. I like the sun.”

And after that, they lay in silence, until Hinata was falling asleep and Tsukishima essentially dragged him inside to go to bed.

…

He should've realized before, but it just didn't feel obvious to him until Hinata had fallen asleep on the bus ride home, sprawled across Tsukishima's lap- and he didn't push him off, despite the embarrassment. That's when he realized it, when he knew for sure and understood his recent, weird behavior regarding his friend. He had thought himself to be much more observant, but apparently his own self was a different story than volleyball or schoolwork- actually, with interpersonal relationships as a whole, he had been finding himself more and more clueless until it was right in his face and this was one of those times.

He peered down at his sleeping teammate, and waking him to save them both from the teasing that would surely come (from Tanaka and Nishinoya, mostly) wasn't even an option. He just let him sleep, legs folded on the seat and upper-body and head in Tsukishima's lap. He'd let Yamaguchi fall asleep on him before, but this was a bit much- and yet he didn't do anything to stop it. Not even when Asahi, from the seat to his side, glanced over and then away with reddened cheeks. Not even when Tanaka turned around in his seat, snickered and went to whisper in Nishinoya's ear. The only real explanation was one that should've been obvious from the start:

He had a crush on Hinata. He liked Hinata. This was ridiculous. Tsukishima felt ridiculous, but it did click into place his sudden semi-niceness toward him. It did, sort of, explain why his tolerance of his obnoxious behavior had grown immensely. How he hadn't come to this realization before was more ridiculous than the fact itself. Kuroo knew, Tsukishima understood his weird smirks now. Yamaguchi probably realized, even if they weren't spending a lot of time together, because looking back it was pretty damn obvious.

So, he had a crush. Acting on it wasn't an option, but he wasn't sure if hiding it was either. He wasn't sure if he could shift back to his old self around Hinata. He didn't even notice how different he'd been acting until now- or he had, but not the extent. Hopefully, Hinata would just remain oblivious and life would move on until he was over this.

…

About two weeks later, that was made more difficult because he was dragged off to Hinata's house after school to help him study. Yamaguchi had gone to Kageyama's, too, because the obnoxious duo had failed their last tests and if they studied together, nothing would get done- that was the line of thinking, but in Tsukishima's mind, the fact that he was meeting Hinata's family screamed at him and guilt screamed back; he felt deceitful, to feel that this was more than it was. To spend time outside of school or volleyball with Hinata, who probably wouldn't want to anymore if he knew about Tsukishima's feelings. He felt guilty for the tingles that came from Hinata's fingers wrapped around his wrist as he pulled him down the sidewalk, blabbering on.

“Natsu's little, okay? So don't get mad at her if she tries to climb on you or something- or if she's kinda scared of you. You're really tall, you know- you're like a giant.”

“You're definitely exaggerating.” Tsukishima scoffed at him. “And I know not to scare children- I'm not His Majesty.”

“He doesn't mean to, Tsukki- he has a scary face. And so do you, so-”

“I have a little cousin.” Tsukishima cut him off. “So it's fine.”

“Oh! Okay.” Hinata flashed a smile over his shoulder and Tsukishima had to put in effort to keep his cheeks from warming. This was a bad idea. He should've just said no and let Hinata find someone else to tutor him.

Hinata's warning hadn't been sufficient, because when they arrived and a miniature Hinata ran to greet her brother, she stopped in her tracks and shrieked before diving behind his legs to cower at Tsukishima. He slipped his shoes off and stepped into the hallway, keeping his back against the wall to avoid stepping near her and eliciting another screech. An older woman that was only slightly taller than Hinata came down the hallway next, pulling the miniature Hinata from the only-slightly-less-miniature one. She smiled apologetically, and Tsukishima bowed.

“I'm Tsukishima Kei. Pleased to meet you,”

“Hello! I'm Shouyou's mother. He told me you tall, but I didn't expect you would be this tall- I suppose that helps with volleyball though, doesn't it?” She laughed as Natsu buried her face into the crook of her neck. “I'm making dinner now, but feel free to eat in Hinata's room so that you boys can study.”

“Thank you.” Tsukishima inclined his head.

“Thanks, mom! I'm gonna show him around and then we're gonna study.” And just like that, Tsukishima had met Hinata's family, and then he was being dragged around the house. It was smaller than his and Yamaguchi's, and a little more traditional too, but it was nice and the atmosphere was comfortable and cozy. It wasn't hard to feel at ease. After the tour of the rest of the house, and on the way to Hinata's room, Natsu darted in from the kitchen and effectively wrapped herself around his leg.

“Hello,” He offered, and she scowled up at him.

“You're too tall. Mom says you're not scary, but you're too big.”

“Natsu, that's rude!” Hinata scolded, reaching down in an attempt to peel her off of Tsukishima but her grip was iron.

“I am 'like a giant', after all.” Tsukishima relayed Hinata's words from earlier, and both redheads giggled. There weren't very many pictures around, and their mother had black hair, so the red must come from their father.

“You are!” Natsu agreed.

Tsukishima offered his arms to her, his voice gentle as he said, “Here, I'll make you taller then.” And he did his best not to feel awkward under Hinata's intense, stunned gaze as he lifted the girl onto his shoulders. “Better?” He asked, tilting his head back to look up at her.

She giggled, kicking her feet lightly against his chest. “Now I'm taller than you- I'm taller than you, too, Shouyou!”

“It's not very hard to be taller than he is.” Tsukishima smirked at Hinata, who glared at him with a huff.

“If you call me short anymore I'll tell the whole team you let her ride on your shoulders.” And, apparently, Tsukishima's face was telling enough because Hinata laughed, nervously, and began to stammer, “Just- just kidding, Tsukki, please don't murder me!”

“Don't murder my brother!” Natsu agreed, hands tapping the top of his had for emphasis.

…

Just when he thought things had gone well, and that he could go home and call this a decent experience, the drizzle that had started as they ate turned into a serious downpour, complete with lightening and thunder and a terrified little girl that clung to her mother as she fished out a futon for Tsukishima to sleep on. “It wasn't supposed to storm or I would have driven you home earlier!” She sighed, and he took the rolled-up futon from her.

“No, don't worry. I'm sorry for the intrusion.” He carried it down the hallway to Hinata's room, where said boy was shoving his bed against the wall to make room for the futon.

“It's no trouble at all. If it's raining in the morning, I'll drive you boys to school.”

“Thanks, mom.”

Once the the room had been set up, and Mrs. Hinata had assured them free reign of the kitchen if so they pleased, the two were alone and it was quiet and kind of awkward. Hinata sat on his bed, and Tsukishima stood awkwardly by the closed door, not sure exactly how sleepover-etiquette went exactly. Hinata fidgeted from his spot on the bed, and suddenly looked up as though he'd just realized that his friend hadn't moved.

“Here, um, I'd offer you the bed except I didn't wash the sheets today-”

“It's fine.” Tsukishima took that as his cue, and moved to the futon. He sat down, clad in a pair of Hinata's dad's pajamas (he wouldn't have fit into Hinata's), and set his phone and headphones on the floor beside it. Then, after another awkward silence, he scooted down and laid his head on the pillow. 

He didn't know when Hinata went to bed, but his heart was pounding at the fact that he was alone with him in his room and he really, really just wanted to pretend to go to sleep.

When he did, though, something under the bed caught his attention and he reached out to pull it out on impulse. It was what he thought that it was; a dress.

It was blue. The top, long-sleeved with a flat, black collar and black cuffs. Around the waist was a black, slim ribbon with a bow, and an almost-white, blue skirt with a darker blue flower-pattern. The dress was definitely too big to be Natsu's, and too small to be Mrs. Hinata's. Did Hinata have a girlfriend? But when Tsukishima looked up to inquire about it, he got all the answer he needed.

Wide eyes, panicked, a deer caught in headlights and a florescent red that envied his hair on his face and ears. He jumped forward, snatching it away from Tsukishima and shoving it underneath his pillow as if that would erase it from existence. “Um- uh, it's-”

“It's yours, right?” Tsukishima asked, tone pointedly bored, like he didn't care at all although he definitely was interested. The girl's uniform, however long ago, had definitely been an accident- but the girl's pajamas, and the hair-ornament- those weren't, and now this? What did it mean? Tsukishima knew there were people that dressed up like that, he'd seen them in some manga before, but he wasn't sure what it meant. He'd seen it online too, on some not-so-PG websites, but he didn't think that was the case here.

“Please don't make fun of me.” Hinata seemed on the verge of tears or on the verge of yelling. “I thought I put it away, I didn't mean-”

“Why would I make fun of you?” He asked, like it was a ridiculous thing to say- discounting the fact that he often made fun of him. This was different. He wasn't sure how, or why exactly, but he knew that this wasn't something to turn into a joke. Especially with the way Hinata seemed to be barely staying calm.

“It's weird, isn't it?” His voice was wobbly and shaky, and Tsukishima knew that he couldn't let him start crying- he didn't know how to handle that.

“No.” Tsukishima deadpanned, sitting up. “Why would it be?”

Hinata flopped onto his stomach, peering over the edge of the be at Tsukishima with narrowed, suspicious eyes. Cautiously, nervously. “You really don't think so?”

It didn't really matter, did it? If someone wanted to dress like that. People wore ridiculous things all the time- bright, florescent colors, lolita fashion; a dress wasn't that big of a deal. It was the most logical reaction probably, but Tsukishima was still surprised to find how little he cared, aside from a curiosity. “No.” Hinata just stared at him, studying his face like he was the one that had just had a secret revealed, and it was annoying and Tsukishima felt exposed even though he shouldn't, because he hadn't exposed anything about himself, had he? “Do your parents know?”

“Um...” Hinata's blushed deepened and he picked at the bedspread, unable to decide whether to make eye-contact or to look away. “My mom knows. She got it for me.”

“Oh.” Tsukishima didn't press that issue. Hinata was an open book, whether people wanted him to be or not. If he wanted someone to know something, he'd share, and Tsukishima didn't pry.

“I- I wanted a pink one, and I was gonna ask her for one, but then-” He stopped, and pressed his face into the mattress.

Tsukishima flicked the top of his head. “But then...?”

“Then, at the Cherry Blossom festival, you said- you said blue looked better, so I asked for a blue one instead.” Although the explanation was muffled, Tsukishima could make out enough to understand and-

“Oh.” was really all he could say. Hinata had taken his casual advice a lot further than he'd meant for it to go. “I didn't mean pink was-”

“No! No, I mean... You were right, blue does look better with red. Even Natsu knows that. I didn't know 'til you told me.” Hinata peeked over the bed again.

“Oh, okay.” He... wasn't the type of person to ask questions for the sake of conversation. He never had been. The fact that he'd asked any questions about it at all was new for him, and it felt strange and awkward to actually contribute to a conversation. The silence was already awkward on it's own, though. Could he really make it any worse? “Why?”

“Why- why what?”

Tsukishima wanted to glare, because nobody could be so obtuse, but he didn't. “Why do you wear it?”

“Oh!” He scowled, fingers curling into fists in the sheets. “Oh, um, well. I don't know.”  
The memory of the night at training camp, out on the hill came to mind and he repeated Hinata's own words back to him. “If I can guess why, will you tell me?”

Hinata laughed a little at that, and apparently, he remembered too. “Yeah.”

Now, the actual questions were the issue. Actually asking them out loud was a lot harder than wondering silently. He regretted pressing the subject, but it didn't seem like something he could go back on. “Do you want people to think you're a girl?” Because that had been the subject of a manga he'd flipped through once; a girl had left it behind on her desk and because he was never exceedingly polite, he'd picked it up.

“No.” Hinata sounded sure.

“Is it-” He felt his own face warm, and he cleared his throat. How did he ask if it was sexual? Hinata hardly seemed interested in other people beyond a volleyball-level, so imagining that he put that much effort into some secret, sexual life was farfetched. He felt that he knew Hinata enough to know that wasn't the case, so he decided to skip that question completely-

Except Hinata already seemed to realize what he was going to ask, because a pillow came from the bed and knocked his glasses off his face. “No! Don't be gross! Nasty-shima.”

Tsukishima snorted to cover a laugh, because that was the reaction he'd anticipated if he had finished the question and he'd gotten it anyway. He tossed the pillow back up and found his glasses, poking out from beneath the desk. The lenses were fine, so he put them back in place and looked through them at Hinata. “Then I give up.”

Hinata pouted, momentarily, his outrage at Tsukishima's last question forgotten. Then, he pulled himself up on his knees. “I just like it. It's comfortable and it's- it's called crossdressing, but I don't like that.”

“What, the name?”

“Yeah. It makes it sound weird when it's just- it's just-”

“They're just clothes.” Tsukishima offered and Hinata smiled, relief present as tension left his body.

“You're so weird, Tsukishima.”

“What? How?” He scowled. He hadn't done anything, had he?

“You just are. You pick on me all the time, about my height and volleyball and my grades and my noises- like 'gwah' and 'woosh'- but not about this, and not about if I like boys.”

“This is different.”

“How?”

That was a good question. “Those don't bother you.” Sort of. “You get mad. You yell at me; that's why I do it.”

“I don't get it,”

Oh, god, did he really have to spell this out? “Does it hurt your feelings when I make fun of you normally?”

“It pisses me off.” But doesn't hurt his feelings.

“Would it hurt your feelings if I make fun of this?”

“...Yeah,”

“That's why it's different.”

“Oh. Oh, so you admit it, then?”

“What?”

“That you're actually nice.”

“I never said that.”

“You might as well have!” Hinata was beaming. That bright, genuine smile that showed his teeth and made Tsukishima's entire body feel light and floaty. “Thanks, Tsukishima.”

“Don't thank me for that, it's weird.”

And after that, things weren't awkward anymore, and when they went to bed it wasn't because Tsukishima wanted to end the night, it was because Hinata couldn't keep his eyes open.

…

Sleep lasted all of two hours that the blonde spent on his phone. Tsukishima didn't fall asleep until it was nearly morning, if he went to sleep at all. Hinata, apparently, woke up in the middle of the, fully recharged for a short time. This was the third time that Tsukishima had turned to glance at Hinata, and met amber eyes instead, and with each time it became less and less surprising. He powered the screen of his phone off, dimming the light and shifted onto his side to look up at Hinata. He didn't know what to say, but he knew what Hinata was going to say and he'd already prepared an answer.

“Can't sleep?”

“No. You snore too loud.”

“I do not!” He whisper-yelled. If the storm was any quieter, it still would've been too loud, but the rain seemed to wash out any sounds from the rest of the house.

“You do.” Tsukishima sat up. “But that's not why.”

Hinata didn't have to ask why. “I'll stay up with you.”

“No. You already sleep through half your classes.”

“I can stay up if I want, it's not like my grades can get any worse.” He sulked, and Tsukishima tried not to laugh at the self-depreciating crack.

“You can't fail with me as your tutor, anyway.”

“Don't be so arrogant.”

Tsukishima grinned, cheekily. “It's true; why else would you want me as your tutor?” Because he knew Tsukishima was smart, because he knew Tsukishima was a good tutor, or

“Because we're friends, duh.” Hinata narrowed his eyes, and this time he was the one that felt his friend was being obtuse. “I wanted you to come over.”

“Oh,” He wasn't sure why that was so surprising, really. It probably shouldn't be. He'd always found roundabout ways to drag Kageyama over or out somewhere, so Tsukishima wondered if maybe he should've figured that out on his own.

There was a beat of silence, and then, “Tsukki, are you cold?”

“I'm fine.” He said, in case Hinata was going to offer him more blankets. He wasn't even using the one he had, so clearly, he wasn't cold anyway.

“I'm cold. So come sleep up here so it'll be warmer.”

Tsukishima was glad for the darkness to hide the rush to his cheeks. “No.”

“Come on- my bed is big enough for two people anyway, and it's cold!”

“No.”

“If you don't, I'll come down there and sleep on the futon.”

Tsukishima sighed, because this definitely wasn't going to do anything to help his feelings for Hinata, but he grabbed his pillow and tossed it at Hinata, who cried out in surprise and indigence, but before he could say anything Tsukishima had climbed onto the bed, forcing Hinata to scoot back and make room and then they both laid down beneath the covers and there was silence between them.

It wasn't uncomfortable exactly, but Hinata's gaze was- as usual- intense and focused, and caught directly in Tsukishima's. Prolonged eye-contact should be awkward, right? But it wasn't, or it didn't seem that way at least, even though Tsukishima could feel Hinata's breath across his cheek, and even though they were lying so close that if either of them moved, they would brush one another, Tsukishima felt at ease. Hinata made him feel at ease. Hinata smiled. Tsukishima smiled back; barely, slightly, hardly at all, but enough to make the redhead gush.

“I don't think I've ever seen you smile before!”

“And now you never will again.” He said, but it lacked the bite he'd meant for it and Hinata just giggled, scooting closer, and their legs and arms were touching.

“Hey, Tsukki?”

“What?”

“I can't sleep.”

“You haven't even tried to sleep.”

“Yeah, but I know I couldn't now. My heart's beating too fast and too loud. Is yours?”  
And it was, pounding hard against his ribcage in an effort to break right through. He nodded once, but couldn't bring himself to answer.

“And I'm kinda nervous. Are you?”  
Another nod, and he was afraid. Afraid to get his hopes up, afraid that he was misreading this, afraid that he would be disappointed or found out and rejected or abandoned or-

“And I kinda wanna kiss you, but I don't want you to kill me for it.”

“I won't.”

And just like that, a pause, hesitance, and then lips-on-lips and tingles that made Tsukishima's eyes close on their own and his palms cold and his heart either skip a beat or stop completely, he wasn't sure, and it was chaste and light and then it was over and Hinata's eyes were wide and his pupils dilated, and his breath shallow and quick and nervous and Tsukishima knew he was the same way. He wasn't reading it wrong. There was no way to read this wrong, but for it to be real- he hadn't even considered the possibility- but now, looking back, it seemed too obvious because Hinata was physical with everyone but not the way that he'd been with Tsukishima, and that should have made it apparent. But it seemed that Tsukishima wasn't as observant as he'd previously believed himself to be.

Neither of them said anything, and after a moment Tsukishima removed his glasses and desk them down in the floor beside the bed. When he turned back to Hinata, he could just barely make out the features of his face. Just enough that when he leaned in, he didn't miss and his lips met Hinata's lips for another quick, feather-touch kiss and then they were both blushing and flustered and this was much, much better than Tsukishima could ever have imagined.

This time, the silence was comfortable and settled, and he was almost positive that Hinata had fallen asleep when the redhead finally spoke. “Hey, Tsukki?” He seemed to start a lot of questions that way. Like he liked calling him 'Tsukki', and it was an excuse.

“Hinata,”

“Um, when we go to school tomorrow, can- can we hold hands?” And then, when Tsukishima didn't answer right away (he couldn't form words), he immediately backpedaled. “I mean, we don't have to or anything, it's fine- I know it's weird, so it's-”

“It's not weird. We can.”

A breath of relief that Tsukishima felt on his face. “And- and can we eat together every day? Even if it's not with Kageyama and Yamaguchi?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I tell people you're my boyfriend?”

“If you want.”

“Will you tell people I'm your boyfriend?”

“If-” His voice cracked and he wanted to hit himself, because this was not the time to lose his cool. “-you're okay with it.”

“Yeah, I am.” Hinata breathed, barely a whisper, barely audible at all, and then he scooted closer to Tsukishima until they were chest-to-head and Tsukishima hesitantly rest an arm across Hinata's back, and they were absolutely, undeniably cuddling now. “Hey, Ts-”

“What?”

“You like me, right?”

“I feel like I shouldn't have to say so at this point.”

And Hinata giggled.  
…

When Hinata's mother drove away, leaving the two at the gate of the school, Hinata looked at Tsukishima with an anticipating grin. Cautious, too, and nervous. Like he was afraid Tsukishima would take back what he'd said the night before- and he wanted to take it back, because this was honestly too much. But more than that, more than he hated the attention he knew they'd receive, more than he hated the idea of the entire school knowing something about himself or knowing what he felt, he hated the idea of hurting Hinata's feelings.

He reached down, and took his (boy)friend's smaller hand in his own. And then, staring straight ahead and avoiding any and all eye-contact with anyone, he walked Hinata to the gym for his usual before-school practice.

…

'Come over.' Tsukishima emailed Yamaguchi the next weekend, while Hinata made himself at home instead of studying like they'd planned. It wasn't often that he initiated hanging out, but if Yamaguchi wouldn't and he didn't want to lose his friend, he'd have to step up. It hurt, but at the same time, maybe his freckled friend had felt the same way all along.

Hinata was going through DVDs when Tsukishima's phone went off. He picked it up, and the reply read: 'I'm with Tobio!' and a series of frantic emojis that were meant to convey apology.  
'So bring him.' And then, without waiting for a response, 'Hinata is here.'

And not long after that, the two showed up and they watched a movie together. And Kageyama didn't fight with Tsukishima, and seemed to be making an effort to be friendly- which, given who he was, made things stiff and awkward but it was better than fighting the whole time.

…

Hopefully, Hinata and The King would work things out the way that Tsukishima planned to do. It wasn't enough to have another friend (or to have a boyfriend) for the blonde, or the redhead, and it had obviously been weighing down on Hinata that Kageyama wouldn't hang out with him anymore. So on Friday after practice, the duos walked home with their formerly-usual friends, and it seemed that everyone involve had known what was coming. Yamaguchi, for instance, seemed more anxious that usual as they walked, playing with his fingernails and staring at the ground.

After about five minutes of gritting his teeth, Tsukishima took a deep breath and broke the silence. “Are we still friends?”

And Yamaguchi started, facing him with wide eyes. “Of course we are!” And then, “I just... I'm- it's Tobio,”

“I won't pick on him.” Even though it went against Tsukishima's very nature, it was worth it if it upset Yamaguchi when they fought.

“It's not that.”

Oh. “I don't mind.” It would be weird if he did, since “Me too- with Hinata.”

“I was wondering.”

The relief in his voice, the tension that seemed to physically drain out of him was enough to let Tsukishima know that things were okay again. The rest of the walk was normal. There was no more awkward silence, no more avoidance. Everything was okay, and they were friends.

…

'What did His Majesty say?' Tsukishima decided that beating around the bush had made things complicated enough, so he'd be a little more straightforward.  


Hinata's email had a dozen or so emojis of frustration and anger and laughter. Hinata typed the same way he lived, expressively. 'He is so silly Tsukki!!!! He didn't even know we're best friends.'

…

After that, the duos weren't duos. They were friends. There were no more excuses of studying and extra practicing (though they still did both out of necessity and with the two obnoxious ones, obsession), there was hanging out and they were friends. Well, The King and Tsukishima weren't friends, exactly, but they weren't not friends. You couldn't really stay unfriendly with someone when you had to see them all the time, right?  
Regardless, Tsukishima was relieved and maybe, kind of, sort of happy with the way that things had turned out.


End file.
